We need to make sure we are not forcing our way or expecting and demanding others comply with our wishes. This is walking in the flesh and scripture shows this as disobedience and we will suffer consequences. When we demand anything of others we reap problems on ourselves. We lose blessings and can even experience sicknesses. Elohim can even take people out who stand in his way.
In this article I will cover psychological and biblical information concerning this and ways to discover healing if this scenario relates to you.
Disobedience is very consequential by nature. It is also disrespectful to Elohim. In many cases, it ends up costing people far more than they’ve ever thought. The consequences of disobedience are plain all throughout Scripture from the book of Genesis to Revelation.
Gal 6:3 For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he is fooling himself.
Gal 6:4 Rather let each one examine his own work. Then he will have pride in himself alone and not in comparison to anyone else.
Gal 6:5 For each one will carry his own load.
Gal 6:6 Now let the one who is taught the word share all good things with his teacher.
Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived—God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he also shall reap.
Gal 6:8 For the one who sows in the flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But the one who sows in the Ruach will reap from the Ruach eternal life.
Let Elohim do the work, when we try to do it we will mess it up. Worry too much about trying to control other people and you might just end up giving yourself high blood pressure.
Psychologists call being concerned with influencing other people’s behavior agonistic striving. And in several studies, they’ve linked agonistic striving to health problems.
In one study published last November, for example, researchers looked at the relationship between agonistic striving, blood pressure and levels of cortisol – sometimes referred to as the “stress hormone” because it’s released in response to stress.
They found that people with higher levels of cortisol also tended to have higher blood pressure – but only when those people displayed agonistic striving. In other words, higher levels of cortisol were associated with higher levels of blood pressure in people who were more focused on trying to control others but not in people who were less invested in influencing other people’s behavior.
We cannot have Shalom if we are doing things under our own strength. It will only cause disfunction and damage relationships. Sometimes people accuse others of damaging a relationship but it is actually they themselves who are tearing things apart without ever realizing it.
This behavior causes us to be insecure and also have anxieties. Besides being associated with cardiovascular symptoms, agonistic striving has also been linked to somatic symptoms of unexplained illnesses in teens and adults.
I talked to a University professor several years back who explained what Psychosomatic disorder is. Psychosomatic means mind (psyche) and body (soma). A psychosomatic disorder is a disease which involves both mind and body. Some physical diseases are thought to be particularly prone to being made worse by mental factors such as stress and anxiety. Your mental state can affect how bad a physical disease is at any given time.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines psychosomatic as: of, relating to, involving, or concerned with bodily symptoms caused by mental or emotional disturbance.
When we let go and stop trying to control other people, we begin discovering true Shalom and freedom. I know this first hand. Granted I didn’t have Psychosomatic disorder, but I had anxieties and other things I lost when my life changed and I stopped trying to control others.
I began experiencing good health and more blessings from Elohim when I worked on myself instead of others. I learned the value of praying to him to work in relationships and all areas of my life. I learned to trust him and and it freed me from worry and all anxieties.
Some people also use the term psychosomatic disorder when mental factors cause physical symptoms but where there is no physical disease. For example, a chest pain may be caused by stress and no physical disease can be found.
So you see, that many times our own thinking can cause us physical problems. Have you ever heard the term, “It’s all in your head?” Although that may not always be true, it can be in certain cases.
Scripture tells us to renew our minds. It never tells us to act on our emotions. I know when I was younger and allowed my emotions to rule my thinking I was an emotional wreck. When I began renewing my mind and stopped allowing my emotions to rule my thinking, I also no longer felt as though I had to control people. Instead I learned to appreciate everyong and love them for who they are, warts and all.
This type of growth takes time. It requires taking time every day to renew our mind, to spend time examining ourselves instead of examining other people. Scripture tells us that love keeps no record of wrong. When I learned to practice that my life improved drastically. I no longer care what people do to me or to others. I will not lose my Shalom over such things. It’s not worth it. Life is just too short to get our undiez in a twist over petty things.
Let go and be happy. Changing our world is not about fighting to change others. It’s about examining ourselves daily and getting the beam out of our own eye. Until then, we will think the beam is in the other persons eye. We will destroy our own relationships thinking it’s the other person doing it. I know a man who has been married several times and claimed that the problem was with all those women. Such a blinded eye cannot see to save themselves.
We need to work on renewing our mind and then everything else will become clearer to us.
Rom 12:1 I urge you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice—holy, acceptable to God—which is your spiritual service.
Rom 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.
We are not a living sacrifice if we are pointing the finger at others for our own benefit. We will be like a small boat on a stormy sea tossed about with every wave.
Faith and renewing of our mind helps us to walk on that water and endure the storm around us. Scripture never tells us to fix other people so we can be happy. That’s a rough road that leads to no where. It’s a stormy sea we will never endure but always cause us to end up in disaster.
Rom 12:16 Live in harmony with one another; do not be proud, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own eyes.
Rom 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil; give thought to what is good in the eyes of all people.
Rom 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live in shalom with all people.
Rom 12:19 Never take your own revenge, loved ones, but give room for God’s wrath—for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay,” says Adonai.
Rom 12:20 Rather, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For by doing so you will heap coals of fire upon his head.”
Rom 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Disclaimer: This article is for information only and should not be used for the diagnosis or treatment of medical conditions. I have used all reasonable care in compiling the information but make no warranty as to its accuracy. Consult a doctor or other health care professional for diagnosis and treatment of medical conditions.