*NOTE* All Scripture passages are from The Scriptures 1998+ unless otherwise noted.
Love is the greatest commandment. But many don’t spend time seeking this, or understanding what their attitude toward life, others and righteousness should be. Too many times we put ideas in our own head that are not true and we disobey Elohim. To have real love does not mean we go along the desires or views others have. We have to know the ways of Elohim first, even if it means going against someone’s grain. But we do it in kindness and love always, in gentleness so we can win them to the truth. We live in a culture that leaves us shell shocked in many ways because of the fact that many people do not focus on working on themselves first and they don’t understand the ways that Elohim shows us clearly in his word. He told us to cleanse the inside of the cup first and the whole thing will be clean. It is only then we are able to understand the rest of it. For until we are cleansed inside, the dirt within us will clog our hearing and our vision and limit us and deprive us of the truths Elohim has for us.
Husband and wife roles are often distorted in people’s minds because of bad experiences in the past and we go to the extreme in the interest of self preservation. This is our way of “protecting” ourselves or hiding from our past wounds. We don’t often realize it but the underlying motive we so often do not realize drives us to do things outside the will of Elohim.
Sometimes women do not accept that the mans role is to rule over her because men in the past have abused their role. Sometimes we do not want any leadership in the assembly because in the past the leaders in “church” did not operate within biblical boundries. So our knee jerk reaction is to not want anyone “in charge.” This however is contrary to sound doctrine. The Bible does tell us that the man has authority over his wife just as Messiah has authority over the man.
To the woman He said, “I greatly increase your sorrow and your conception – bring forth children in pain. And your desire is for your husband, and he does rule over you.” Genesis 3:16
Because the husband is head of the wife, as also the Messiah is head of the assembly, and He is Saviour of the body. Ephesians 5:23
The head is the part of the body that rules the body and causes it to do the things it does. Even when some realize the man is the head they still do not accept the authority given to him by Messiah, to reject and disobey that authority is also to reject and disobey Messiah since it is ordained by Elohim.
Timothy also told us that the man leads the meetings of the assembly. Many may call it “church” but the word church in our translations is a mistranslation generally for the word Ekklesia which refers to the body of Messiah or sold out ones.
The man is told to rule in love. The man is told and shown how to rule by Messiah. A man is given his role by the Lord, not himself. Sometimes when a man assumes his role given by Elohim he is criticized by those who have not come to understand it and base their thinking on the dysfunctional church leadership they experienced in the past. They equate dysfunctional church leadership to any leadership and think that leadership itself is bad. Then they claim to love Messiah and serve him. The fact remains that if we cannot accept the authority of a man or elders in the assembly, then we have rejected Messiah because he is the Lord over the man and the assembly.
I had to come to terms with this myself because I came out of a highly dysfunctional church that assumed power that only belongs to Messiah and to Elohim. They disobeyed scripture in many ways, they Can’t Obey God even on the Seventh day (Sabbath). There were many ways they broke Sabbath, eating out on Sabbath which caused people to work and justifying it just because it was for a church convention. Most all of us have had bad experiences in the past where goats or wolves in sheep’s clothing are in leadership. And so many times we automatically assume that all leadership is wrong. So many of us need to be healed so that we can see these things clearly.
As I have been introduced to Torah observant teachers and leaders, I am seeing the healthier side of leadership. And it’s also helping me to get a clearer perspective on my role as a man. We are always to lead or rule in love, outside of that we will fail and our leadership will experience dysfunction and we will have stepped outside the will of Elohim. We we read through the Torah and first half of the Bible we see that Elohim was angry at the sovereigns who ruled Yisrael outside of his will and ways. Just as he will judge those leaders who do not lead in humility and in love. For quite some time I too was against any kind of leadership, that is, until I healed emotionally in that area. Then I was able to receive and submit to leadership. Until we can submit to leadership, until a woman can submit to her husband, we will not be walking in the Father’s will. And we will have have not received Messiah truly if we reject the leadership, the men and the husbands that Elohim has placed in this world. To point a finger at the man and claim he did something with the wrong motives makes that person a false accuser and scripture condemns this. We can’t always know the motives of another person. And many times a man has done something in defense of Elohim’s word and it could appear to someone with an evil eye that he has done it out of selfish reasons. The person to judges another based on their own thinking is not acting within the will of Elohim. How ironic that there are those who judge falsely, casting false accusation at a man and all the while never realize the danger they are in themselves before Elohim.
What would it look like if someone in the body of Messiah told him that he was only the head under certain circumstances? Or they told him he was only acting on impulse or from his ego? These things neither should a woman do to a man, she has stepped out of her role when she does this. When we heal emotionally, we can put aside our feelings even when a dysfunctional leader is present. It requires two men to come to a Pastor to exhort him when he has gotten off track. There are biblical guidelines for when this needs to happen and it is not part of the woman’s role.
Messiah removed himself from situations, people and social environments where people lacked faith. And to lack faith also means to lack obedience. Messiah will not force himself on anyone who lacks faith. And he will pull a man away from a situation where he is walking in the truth and rejected for it.
When people reject what he brings to them through another person, he sometimes removes that person from from a group or persons life either in certain areas or all together because it is not the person he removes who is being rejected, it is Messiah they are rejecting. When a servant of Messiah explains something and it is not received, the word of Elohim refers to the people rejecting it as stiff necked. Let us not be stiff necked, but rather let us receive the leaders and men that Elohim puts into our path, because to receive them means we receive Messiah, to reject them means we reject Messiah. The way we talk to them is the way we are talking to Messiah because they represent him. We have to stop being self seeking and begin serving with a servants heart, not with lips that rise up against the servants of Elohim.
but wrath and displeasure to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness; affliction and distress on every human being working what is evil, of the Yehuḏite first, and also of the Greek; but esteem, respect, and peace to everyone working what is good, to the Yehuḏite first and also to the Greek. For there is no partiality with Elohim. For as many as sinned without Torah shall also perish without Torah, and as many as sinned in the Torah shall be judged by the Torah. (Romans 2:8-12)
And if I have prophecy, and know all secrets and all knowledge, and if I have all belief, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am none at all. And if I give out all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but do not have love, I am not profited at all. Love is patient, is kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, is not puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not seek its own, is not provoked, reckons not the evil, does not rejoice over the unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, it covers all, believes all, expects all, endures all. 1 Corinthians 13:2-7 (The Scriptures 1998+)